The inclusion of headphones in Meta’s smart glasses marks a crucial leap forward in the field of unnecessary convenience. Because if there’s one thing we needed, it was to have music playing directly from our faces. These glasses combine the thrill of mediocre audio with the subtle narcissism of wearing a tiny tech billboard on your head.
Sound quality? It exists. Somewhere between “tin can with Bluetooth” and “your phone speaker duct-taped to your ear but without the duct tape.” Bass? Elusive. Privacy? Imagine whispering secrets during a hurricane. But hey, the glasses do let you pretend you're in a cyberpunk novel, even if all you're doing is listening to lo-fi beats while grocery shopping.
Controls are either touch-sensitive, gesture-based, or maybe powered by guessing what you meant to do. Accidentally raise your eyebrow? Skip track. Adjust your hair? Suddenly calling your ex. And nothing says “immersive audio experience” like watching people squint at you trying to figure out if you’re talking to them, yourself, or a Meta server in the cloud.
Still, it’s hard not to be impressed. You can take calls without touching your phone, listen to music while hearing the world, and look like someone who definitely owns a drone. They’re not perfect—but neither is reality, and at least now it comes with a soundtrack.
Face-Speakers: Because Ears Are So Last Decade
Meta glasses with built-in headphones are here to answer a question literally no one asked out loud: “What if my sunglasses could play Despacito directly into my cheekbones?” The idea is simple—combine eyewear with audio and pretend it’s revolutionary, even though Bluetooth headbands from 2011 walked so these could stumble.
The touch controls are a masterclass in chaos. Swipe your temple to pause music. Or was it to activate voice assistant? No one knows. The real joy is in watching someone try to adjust their glasses and accidentally trigger a weather report, Spotify playlist, and a call to their dentist—simultaneously. The glasses seem to operate on a system of "vague intention + pure vibes."
“I meant to scratch my forehead but now I’m in a Teams meeting with three regional managers.”
— Early adopter, emotionally scarred
Audio Quality That Exists Technically
Let’s not sugarcoat it: these are speakers near your ears, not in them. You’ll hear your music, and so will everyone within a two-foot radius. Expect the full concert experience if you’re standing next to someone else wearing them in public: overlapping podcasts, TikToks, and someone blasting EDM while pretending to buy mangoes.
Still, the directional audio is good enough that it feels futuristic—if your definition of futuristic includes mono-sounding weather updates while crossing a street and dodging an auto rickshaw.
The design walks the fine line between “futuristic” and “tech bro who thinks Ray-Bans are too subtle.” Depending on the model, you might look like an undercover agent, or someone who's just really into mall kiosks. They’re not ugly per se—but they do radiate a quiet confidence that screams “I listen to NFTs.”
Pros:
- You can pretend you’re in a sci-fi movie every time you check the weather.
- Podcasts while walking without looking like a psychopath yelling at the air.
- Great for pretending you didn’t hear someone calling your name.
Cons:
- Everyone around you gets a sample of your music taste.
- Terrible for stealth mode. You will look like you’re narrating your own biopic.
Battery life: 4 hours if you're lucky, 2.5 if you're interesting.
Final Thoughts: Eyes. Ears. Confusion.
Meta’s headphone-glasses are either the start of a wearable tech revolution or just another step toward becoming a walking gadget commercial. They don’t replace good headphones, or stylish glasses, or even common sense. But they do combine all three into a weirdly compelling package that somehow makes you feel like you're living slightly in the future—even if that future is mostly just you misdialing people with your eyebrows.
